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Aman K M's avatar

It does make sense, a lot. Nature doesn't just help you with overwhelming grief, that has not touched me, yet, but also with the smallest sadness, seeing a flower makes my day no matter what. But during times of a worse sadness, it's difficult to sit down and let nature heal you. One has to consciously make an effort, to open the gates, to let it in, to heal, at least that's how it works with me. 🤍

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Kate Howlett's avatar

I’m so glad this makes sense to you, Aman. What you’ve written is absolutely right. Thank you for reading.

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Aman K M's avatar

Thank you for writing! 💜

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Sophie Willow's avatar

You are such a beautiful writer, Kate. Thank you. “The reassuring arm of nature resting round my shoulder helps me see my grief and sit with it.” Just perfect.

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Kate Howlett's avatar

Thank you so much, Sophie. This is very kind 🙏 and thank you for reading!

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Julie Neches's avatar

Thank you for sharing the comfort of nature for grieving and for your beautiful poem that touches my heart. I am one of the grievers, for my daughter, so your wise words make sense!

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Kate Howlett's avatar

So sorry for your loss, but I am also so glad that the words resonated with you.

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Julie Neches's avatar

Thank you for your support!

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Unclenching by Chris L Vaughan's avatar

Beautiful and exactly what I needed to read today. Thank you, Kate.

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Kate Howlett's avatar

You're so welcome. This is exactly why I wrote it—I'm glad.

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Sophie Rose's avatar

Thank you for offering comfort and relatability with this post, Kate 💗 I experienced a loss this spring and find it hard to look out into my garden because it’s a reminder for me like magnolias are to you. But I’d rather the garden be there, with its painful and positive memories alike, than not.

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Kate Howlett's avatar

You're welcome, Sophie. Thank you for reading and for sharing this. I'm so sorry to hear you've experienced a recent loss, but I'm glad this piece spoke to you. I really like the simplicity of 'But I'd rather the garden be there'—it's so true. Somethings hold such complicated, mixed memories, which can be painful but so so needed 💓

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Sophie Rose's avatar

Thanks, Kate, and I’m sorry for your loss as well!

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Caroline Mellor's avatar

Beautifully written, with great heart and tenderness. I'm sorry for your loss. But also glad you find some solace in the endless wonder and regenerative power of the natural world.

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Kate Howlett's avatar

Thank you so much for reading and for your kind words 💚

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Hannah's avatar

I am sorry for your loss. The way you write about your experience is beautiful, and it resonates deeply. These days, it's easy to forget that feeling grief is healthy, necessary, and an expression of love. I believe the way you're navigating it is wise.

For me, nature is also a catalyst for grief. I think it might be because, in nature, things simply are as they are - and that encourages me to accept my feelings as they are, not to push them away or twist them into something else. Thank you for sharing, and wishing you all the best.

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Kate Howlett's avatar

Thank you so much for reading, Hannah, and for such kind words. I think what you say is exactly right - nature helps us accept all of reality, not just the nice bits, and it gives us that reassurance that everything passes.

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Melissa Lee's avatar

Hi Kate, this does resonate with me yes, and I'm sorry for your loss.

For me it was a glorious buddleia bush that was in full bloom in my garden, the year my dad died. It was the very last day he was able to drive, and he was determined to come to my house. We sat in the conservatory watching the garden. For years the sight of buddleia reminded me of that day, and brought back anger and grief. What I am happy to say though, is that now, over a decade later (I know... it's a long time) that buddleia are now one of my summer favourites again, and bring me nothing but joy. It's taken a long time, but the pain has lessened immensely.

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Kate Howlett's avatar

Thank you so much for reading, Melissa. I'm so sorry, but also glad, to hear that this resonated with you.

What a beautiful memory—thanks for sharing. I'm glad buddleia are once again joyful for you, although I'm sure it is mixed.

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Carrie Starbuck's avatar

This really resonates with me. I recently lost my Dad too and found nature such a comfort. I wrote about it too (another comfort) in my piece - A Place Between Things: Grief & Green Spaces. Your poetry is beautiful Kate, thank you 💚

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Kate Howlett's avatar

Thank you for reading and I’m so sorry to hear that. I’ve just read your piece too and am so glad nature has helped you as well! You’re right - writing helps so much. I’m so glad my words resonated 💚

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Sanchita's avatar

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I can only imagine how much strength it must still take you to be.

Your poem is so so powerful and these lines really stayed with me:

“The only thing I can think of that might be more painful than grief is being trapped inside yourself with nothing but that beast for company.” This rings so true and I am heartened to see you found that for yourself too.

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Kate Howlett's avatar

Thank you for reading, Sanchita and for your kind words too. I’m glad the words connected with you 🤍

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Peggy's avatar

I have lost many ones that I have loved like all of us. But different things will bring back memories that are now gentle not sad. Ones that usually make me smile or laugh. Hopefully that will be for you also

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Kate Howlett's avatar

Thank you, and thank you for reading too.

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Mairi McFadyen's avatar

Thank you for writing this 💚

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Kate Howlett's avatar

You’re welcome 💚 Thank you for reading and sharing!

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Greta Burroughs's avatar

Nature is my friend...

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Kate Howlett's avatar

Absolutely! Thank you for reading and sharing.

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Emmery's avatar

Very much resonate, in fact this week have been processing the birthday/death anniversary of my grandmother the first year after her passing and thinking and writing a lot about the overlap between joy/beauty and grief. Last year on my grandmother's birthday I brought her lavender from my yard which had just started to flower. That same plant just started to flower over the last week and it was such a sudden reminder of the fact that it's been a whole year. Going to pick some to dry this weekend, but also to put on her grave to remind myself that even though it's hard, it's also beautiful to have something out there in the universe to remind me of her in such a natural and loving way.

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Kate Howlett's avatar

Thank you so much for reading, and thank you for sharing too. That's beautiful—I'm so glad lavender is providing you with such a lovely reminder of her.

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Rewilding Neurodiversity's avatar

I had similar with someone close. Before she died I foraged alot of herbal teas for her: red clovers, elderflowers, ribwort plantains, dog rose to name a few. The following year after she was gone I was annoyed at all those plants for reminding me of the pain of loosing her. But a few years later now the grief is softer I lOVE that I’m reminded of her and smile when I see the first red clovers flower. I hope with time that magnolias will lift your spirits 🌷

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Kate Howlett's avatar

Thank you so much. I'm glad to hear you've had such similar experiences with plants and seasonality—such a challenge and a gift at the same time 🌹

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Terri Windling's avatar

This is a beautiful post. Having gone through several hard bereavements myself in the space of a few short years, your poem -- and the entire post -- did indeed resonate.

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Kate Howlett's avatar

Thank you so much. I'm so glad that it resonates with you and so sorry to hear you've gone through so much. It completely sucks. I do hope this has helped in the smallest of ways.

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